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    dots Submission Name: Blurred Massesdots

    Author: Aangskate
    ASL Info:    18/male
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 133/117/44
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 858
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 562

       Something I began to write in economics class, Im always dazed during that boring class. Its not my best thats for sure, but it was another experimentation with my stanzas.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlurred Massesdots

    Right now,
    Right here,
    I just need your arms around me.

    Their scaring me,
    Let’s scare them.
    Take my hand, meet my lips.

    Im so lonely
    They're all perfect
    Let me hide my face against your shoulder.

    They all laugh
    Im crying harder.
    Bloody noses! We’ll have the last laugh

    Time passes slowly,
    Im far gone.
    When you’re here, I feel alive.

    My arms are empty.
    I need you
    Fill me with your embrace.

    Submitted on 2009-03-04 16:28:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ok because you said I could ask if I wanted to know, who are "they're" and why the "bloody noses". Curious!
    | Posted on 2009-03-10 00:00:00 | by Kuuipo | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked stanzas 1, 5 and 6. Very endearing! I got a bit lost on 2 and 3 and wasn't sure how they fit. It held me to find the answer to "Their scaring me?" I guess that I wanted to know who that was and why the bloody nose? Liked it overall but maybe one more in the middle to give clarity. Well phrased though thanks.
    | Posted on 2009-03-08 00:00:00 | by Kuuipo | [ Reply to This ]
      liked some of this - the last line was a nice wrap up to this. guess i read too much teen love poetry here to really be impressed, sorry. nice effort, better than most here.
    | Posted on 2009-03-04 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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