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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pretty Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Gmann2
    ASL Info:    20/m/wa
    Elite Ratio:    1.93 - 5/3/55
    Words: 248
    Class/Type: Personal Quotes/Venting
    Total Views: 65
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1723



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPretty Girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pretty girl, who is to blame
    Frightened girl, they don’t know her name
    Saddened girl, who cries at night
    Distant girl, who’s out of sight
    Psycho girl, with scars on her wrists
    Fairytale girl, who don’t exist
    Silent girl, without a name
    Ignored girl, who’s filled with shame
    Faking girl, with plastic smiles
    Freakish girl, from a thousand miles
    Emotionless girl, cant feel much pain
    Darkened girl, who brings the rain
    Crying girl, tears start to flood
    Psychotic girl, who drains her blood
    Hated girl, who no one loves
    Such a weak girl, who’s no longer though
    Angry girl, there is no cure
    Happy girl, she is no more
    Hidden girl, she covers her scars
    Prisoned girl, lived behind her life’s bars
    Crazy girl, who bleeds so much
    Lonely girl, who’s out of touch
    Stupid girl, who no one likes
    Beaten girl, who always fights
    Pretty girl, don’t give up now
    Suicide girl, there’s someway, somehow
    Scared girl, don’t be afraid
    Distant girl, don’t go away
    Morbid girl, don’t die tonight
    Worried girl, it'll be alright
    Stoner girl, tonight she'll smoke her sorrow
    Alcoholic girl, she'll drink tomorrow
    Furious girl, who has no more faith
    Depressed girl, who cries and aches
    Fallen girl, with broken wings
    Disturbed girl, fell off the swing
    Pretty girl, you are my friend
    Aching girl, just try to mend
    Ugly girl, not like before
    Beautiful girl, she is no more
    Pretty girl, who made her life end
    Pretty girl...no...not again...




    Submitted on 2009-03-09 22:58:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow...i can just feel the emotion jumping off the page. I love the different contrast between the words although the one line "Such a weak girl, who’s no longer though" feels out of place. it may be an error but i'm not sure. Good job over all.
    | Posted on 2009-03-11 00:00:00 | by April1Angel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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