Description: Did you ever feel like everyone around you was a completely different species and you must be the last of your kind? Nothing seems real anymore...friendships, family, relationships, promises, secrets. Nothing is sacred. Integrity is dead.
Couldn't come up with a good title...little help please!
The Others -------------------------------------------
I exist in the mirror where I am alone
I exist within weight upon this stone
I stand before you as flesh and bone
Yet I only exist to those unknown
Unspoken tears unaccounted for
Know nothing of this path, nor of this door
Yet I keep going, despite how much more
Louder are the demons I choose to ignore
Pulled from my home... my only domain
Surrounded by difference, yet they're all the same
No one can see me, for they know not of my name
Diagnosed "Anti-social" for society's blame
The 'others' keep walking with their plastic smiles
Jogging high heels through divorce trials
Happiness in a bag that's packed with denial
Put on THESE shoes and walk for a mile
For I only exist when there's no one around
I only exist if I cannot be found
Hog-tied and bound, buried in the ground
I only exist when I make no sound
Thoughtful poem Jessa, about feeling outside life somehow. Your poem's lines are mostly 4 ft and fully rhymed, a good job. Some parts fail to maintain your 4 ft, but could easily made to agree with the bulk of the poem. eg:-
S.1.3 Standing before you as flesh and bone,
L.4 Yet only exist to those unknown.
S2.L.3 Yet I keep going, -- can I take any more?
S3.L.3 No one sees me, nor knows my name.
L.4 'Anti social, and society's to blame.
S4 L.3 Happiness a bag, packed with denial.
Just suggestions Jessa, but you should punctuate for the work to be fully appreciated. Ted
A very good poem. I was taken aback by the perfect rhyme in the first stanza, and then amazed as it continued through the rest of the poem.
I also belive that the person to previously comment on this poem was extremely rude, to point out one minor grammatical error, and not even mention any of the good qualities of the poem.
Submission Name: The Others
