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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hurricane Mandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sacred Sindy
    ASL Info:    30 female in Portland, Or
    Elite Ratio:    6.36 - 151/128/34
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 988
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 457



    Description:
       i have no punctuation at all in this piece. please help. any other feedback would be helpful too!

    thanks rws for your help!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHurricane Mandots
    -------------------------------------------


    His hurricane lips were planted
    Firm on the coastline of my neck
    Tossing curls and waving strands
    Nestled under a somber silhouette
    That is the storm of him.

    I am cornered by his mighty grip
    Weighed down by wet violent currents
    Pinned by his breath and constrained
    His passionate mouth pressed against me.
    Hurricane man - handle me hard...

    Handle me.

    Hard.




    Submitted on 2009-03-14 01:36:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      His hurricane lips were planted
    Firm on the coastline of my neck
    Tossing curls and waving strands
    Nestled under a somber silhouette
    That is the storm of him.

    I am cornered by his mighty grip
    Weighed down by wet violent currents
    Pinned by his breath and constrained
    By his passionate mouth pressed against me.
    Hurricane man - handle me hard...

    Handle me.

    Hard.



    I experimented with your work slightly to trim a few phrases. I enjoy this very much, Miss Sindy.

    Bill




    | Posted on 2009-03-14 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      
    | Posted on 2009-03-14 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


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