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Hurricane Man


Author: Sacred Sindy
ASL Info:    30 female in Portland, Or
Elite Ratio:    6.36 - 151 /128 /34
Words: 65
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1253
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 457



Description:


i have no punctuation at all in this piece. please help. any other feedback would be helpful too!

thanks rws for your help!


Hurricane Man



His hurricane lips were planted
Firm on the coastline of my neck
Tossing curls and waving strands
Nestled under a somber silhouette
That is the storm of him.

I am cornered by his mighty grip
Weighed down by wet violent currents
Pinned by his breath and constrained
His passionate mouth pressed against me.
Hurricane man - handle me hard...

Handle me.

Hard.




Submitted on 2009-03-14 01:36:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  His hurricane lips were planted
Firm on the coastline of my neck
Tossing curls and waving strands
Nestled under a somber silhouette
That is the storm of him.

I am cornered by his mighty grip
Weighed down by wet violent currents
Pinned by his breath and constrained
By his passionate mouth pressed against me.
Hurricane man - handle me hard...

Handle me.

Hard.



I experimented with your work slightly to trim a few phrases. I enjoy this very much, Miss Sindy.

Bill




| Posted on 2009-03-14 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  
| Posted on 2009-03-14 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


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