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A cigarette in my heart - I dream. I lust for honesty - A violent truth outpouring In raspy, emotional foreign Tongues. My ears may not comprehend The tones, however, My heart drinks it up, with eyes closed, As an etheral absynthe. May I dissolve? So that I might awaken More firm in my beliefs? Speak to me. |
It reads like your more worried about your formating than the actual poetry,sounding like youve had a great epiphany. I think its a little self-absorbed for the reader to relate. But its not the worst, "A cigarette in my heart - I dream." that was a nice line. Just...the poems a little underwhelming,but I suppose you wanted to get your thoughts out. -Craig | Posted on 2009-03-14 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ] | It reads like your more worried about your formating than the actual poetry,sounding like youve had a great epiphany. | I think its a little self-absorbed for the reader to relate. But its not the worst, "A cigarette in my heart - I dream." that was a nice line. Just...the poems a little underwhelming,but I suppose you wanted to get your thoughts out. -Craig | Posted on 2009-03-14 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ] | |