A Window isn't all you need to Reflect by doppelganger

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Submission Name: A Window isn't all you need to Reflect dots

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Author:	doppelganger
ASL Info:	26/f/your brain
Elite Ratio:	1.98 - 34/223/160
Words:	64

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	716
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	851

Description:
wooo~
I listen to too much Against Me!

A Window isn't all you need to Reflect dots

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A cigarette in my heart -
I dream.
I lust for honesty -
A violent truth
                     outpouring
In raspy,
     emotional
          foreign
Tongues.

My ears may not comprehend
The tones,
           however,
My heart drinks it up,
                     with eyes closed,
As an etheral absynthe.

May I dissolve?
So that I might awaken
More firm in my beliefs?

Speak to me.

Submitted on 2009-03-14 13:54:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
It reads like your more worried about your formating than the actual poetry,sounding like youve had a great epiphany.

I think its a little self-absorbed for the reader to relate.

But its not the worst, "A cigarette in my heart -
I dream." that was a nice line.

Just...the poems a little underwhelming,but I suppose you wanted to get your thoughts out.

-Craig

| Posted on 2009-03-14 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]
It reads like your more worried about your formating than the actual poetry,sounding like youve had a great epiphany.

I think its a little self-absorbed for the reader to relate.

But its not the worst, "A cigarette in my heart -
I dream." that was a nice line.

Just...the poems a little underwhelming,but I suppose you wanted to get your thoughts out.

-Craig

| Posted on 2009-03-14 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.