Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forest Musicdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: doppelganger
    ASL Info:    26/f/your brain
    Elite Ratio:    1.98 - 34/223/160
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 757
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 707



    Description:
       I went on a walk in the woods today and it felt... odd.
    So, in an attempt to break away from this writers block, I wrote this. >.>


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForest Musicdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Follow me, Mr. Violin man,
    With your crooked hooves
    And stalactite teeth,
    Through this waking forest.
    Fill me with your braying
    Verses, they
    Sting with the real sincerity
    Of a pacifistís carnal heart.
    These thorns may prick
    And tear my skirts.
    The blood may rise,
    As well,
    But look at this, Mr. Violin man,
    It falls and feeds
    The roses.
    Hear that hawk?
    He hears you too;
    In mourning for the faun.
    So lets spread our blanket
    Wide right here,
    On the bank of this glittering
    Shore, and brew our tea.
    How sweet do you like it,
    Mr. Violin man?




    Submitted on 2009-03-15 04:15:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Pretty nice thought. You disrupted my thought and mental picture I had built when you put in "on the banks of this shore." Forests don't usually have shore banks.
    | Posted on 2009-03-15 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172154

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry