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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I bleed this ink...(Really, it's #4)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyWorld
    ASL Info:    21/M/IN
    Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 76/99/87
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 596
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 928



    Description:
       1-2-3-4!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI bleed this ink...(Really, it's #4)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I pour these words with torrential force
    And your need to be coerced
    It's eating me. The worst
    Part of it, is I started this art with my heart
    And you don't even wanna be part of it.
    You inspire me to greatness, I hate this
    It's tiring trying to inspire you to contemplate this
    You only wanna know if it's bad or good, black or white
    If to you, it really mattered you would have at least tried
    To be more of a part than the subject
    Show a little interest in this that is my heart
    Poured onto paper, I'm a giver not a taker but I'm tempted to start
    Cause I've given a million, hints and I'm willin, to explain myself
    In day to day life, mentally, I'm feignin health
    But, I unleash my mind, in my each and every rhyme
    If you opened your eyes, who knows the things, you'd find




    Submitted on 2009-03-16 05:49:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      mmm I like this "if you'd open your eyes, who knows the things you'd find." nicely put Seems like with your style i need to slow down and read every word and take it in a bit more than with other posts i read but it's well spent time you got good talent

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2010-07-30 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      alright-- see your versility is something you can really grab hole
    your flow is not what i'd call precise, but i do sense a little melodicness to this. plus it's alot of time pays not to be precise cuase that can make it seem robtic, you display good range, both in rhyme formation, and linking thoughts together from one to the next.

    The vivid imagery is great i'm trying to get my cousin on the pen, too. but she just wants to read mine and not even try herself though she could do it herself and it's frustrating sometimes cuz i would like to collab with her, cuz we can relate on a lot of levels, but she won't even try...
    | Posted on 2009-03-17 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      MyWorld, your write here is full oif anguish. The appeal to the one who does not respond, -- perhaps he yet lacks maturity, -- don't pressure him. Try being a little withdrawn, --- absent --- for a short time. If he needs you he will seek you out, and if he doesn't care, you will soon know the truth! I guess we have all been there! Good luck! Ted.
    | Posted on 2009-03-16 00:00:00 | by edcherry | [ Reply to This ]


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