Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ripplesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: col13x
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 119/300/559
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 369
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1029



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRipplesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ripples


    A sudden chime reiterates
    She touches the world
    A fingertip
    And ripples sent
    Resolves
    Inward
    Feed back
    Distant

    Hits resounding light
    Fluent curls
    She signals
    Waves repeating
    Sent ripples
    Outward
    Washing through
    Eternal

    A holding breath for a moment
    Landscaping emotions
    Swell
    As she dips
    Down upon the re-entry
    Calling ripples sent
    On waking
    Reappearing

    Gathers the hems and skirts of beauty
    Reminding
    The day turns
    Me on a pendulum swing
    She senses me
    Ever to her
    Ripples sending
    Returning

    And every morning I stand and wait
    Looking over the edge
    Out over a precipice
    Waiting
    While the cool morning winds are warming
    I hang in a moment
    She touches the world
    Rippling






    Submitted on 2009-03-16 19:16:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I only read this because I thought it said nipples
    | Posted on 2009-03-18 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a representation of good rhythm and images. It is, to me, based around imagism and onomatopoeia and it worked well. This sort of thing isn't attempted a lot of the time on this site and it is usually not done this well. I really can't think of a lot of critsicism to this I don't think it is too long and a poem like this usually needs a lot of room for the images. Well done!

    Phil
    | Posted on 2009-03-16 00:00:00 | by Dead Bell | [ Reply to This ]
      This is kind of cool. Sometimes im too lazy to read things that are long, so i skim them, but i had to go back and read this one, because it interested me. I like that ik kind of looks like ripples, although i dont know whether that was purposeful or not.
    I really like the first verse, Its choppy, but perfect.

    Dont know what else to say...

    Channie
    | Posted on 2009-03-16 00:00:00 | by dthforeverpain8 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172215

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Live In Between written by teika5
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    The World written by jjd
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Outlaw
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry