[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Insidesdots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 578
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 923

       Experimental (To me with a personal bang)
    My biggest hope is that someone gets some of it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    There Isn't Any Place Like Home
    Sleeping on a plane
    a pane of glass and
    staring up into the root of a tree.

    waves roll

    Thunder waves roll
    They swish, swash,

    Waves eat sand and spit sand.

    White moon painted light stretched out across an endless horizon
    and the pale liquid cream green sky

    A star sits on the thick black line on the tip-toe top of the sea

    There is no direction but a wind in a vivid dream
    and no mind but to know the truth

    the face
    that tick tocks

    And like my father I will never wear a watch

    Filled to the brim so with
    electric magnetism
    Floating above my sparkling eyes
    A see saw
    A Balance Beam
    Pivoting above my Rose(nose)
    Light and a Vaccuum.

    Submitted on 2009-03-19 01:59:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Again - the watch, feeling trapped by time? I love the pictures. It is like music. It's good. I don't think you wanted people to really understand what you were trying to say - rather paint some pictures for them and kind of give them a map that leads to the same end but with a whole bunch of different ways to get there. Cool stuff - music with words.
    | Posted on 2009-03-29 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it's lovely. No, I don't quite understand it, but I think that's more my lack of creative thought and inspiration than it is your writing. Maybe I'll get it if my mind ever returns to an inspired sort of state. I do like the part about the magnetism and sparkling eyes though...
    | Posted on 2009-03-19 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Bond written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]