Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Insidesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 560
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 923



    Description:
       Experimental (To me with a personal bang)
    My biggest hope is that someone gets some of it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInsidesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There Isn't Any Place Like Home
    Sleeping on a plane
    a pane of glass and
    staring up into the root of a tree.

    waves roll

    Thunder waves roll
    They swish, swash,

    Waves eat sand and spit sand.

    White moon painted light stretched out across an endless horizon
    and the pale liquid cream green sky

    A star sits on the thick black line on the tip-toe top of the sea

    There is no direction but a wind in a vivid dream
    and no mind but to know the truth

    Watch
    the face
    that tick tocks

    And like my father I will never wear a watch

    Filled to the brim so with
    electric magnetism
    Floating above my sparkling eyes
    A see saw
    A Balance Beam
    Pivoting above my Rose(nose)
    Light and a Vaccuum.




    Submitted on 2009-03-19 01:59:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Again - the watch, feeling trapped by time? I love the pictures. It is like music. It's good. I don't think you wanted people to really understand what you were trying to say - rather paint some pictures for them and kind of give them a map that leads to the same end but with a whole bunch of different ways to get there. Cool stuff - music with words.
    | Posted on 2009-03-29 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it's lovely. No, I don't quite understand it, but I think that's more my lack of creative thought and inspiration than it is your writing. Maybe I'll get it if my mind ever returns to an inspired sort of state. I do like the part about the magnetism and sparkling eyes though...
    | Posted on 2009-03-19 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172308

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Carry written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Fasade written by jackz
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry