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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Silence and Sleepdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dismal_s child
    ASL Info:    18/F/On A Carousel
    Elite Ratio:    3.21 - 440/401/163
    Words: 208
    Class/Type: Poetry/Alone
    Total Views: 104
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1570



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSilence and Sleepdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The silence in this house resounds.
    ricocheting off walls.
    It comes back to me,
    Piercing to my core.
    I discover only then,
    the source of the lonliness,
    Is silence.
    That and nothing more.

    And so I want to scream.
    [Or rather, I want someone else to scream]
    and let me know they are there.
    but nothing is heard.
    But the deep thudding of my heart,
    And my paces on the floor.
    A marching bands melody,
    Wilted. Like roses,
    Ghostlike.
    Like the purgatory of sleep.
    How much more must I endure?
    Only of Silence and Stillness I am sure.

    How I wish it were a dream!
    and I were fast asleep,
    in lands we cannot see,
    [cannot feel]
    without deep belief.
    Sleep
    Such a tumoltous event.
    The tedious practice of falling asleep.
    And the uncertainty of sleep itself.
    Nightmares are dreams.
    And they favor to haunt,
    Awaking to whimpering,
    and finding only me.
    The nagging sensation,
    How many hours of life have disapeared?

    Yet, I sleep.
    to make the silence disappear,
    The silence that creates,
    forming with it's own two hands,
    An art, one could say,
    A sculpture of lonliness.
    Made from marble,
    Cold and hard




    Submitted on 2009-03-19 03:42:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      omg, lately i can hear myself literally screaming inside my heard and it was wierd cuz i told my friends and then, i could hear his voice screaming in my head. its friggin crazy but i did hear him screaming. anyway. i did like this piece. keep posting




    tina
    | Posted on 2009-03-19 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      then wake up, Briar Rose...
    you sound beyond bored...

    i love the analogy of sculture, though.

    now go study for your test, Angel, and begin preparing for your classes.


    love and kisses,
    hugz n misses,
    Mummie
    | Posted on 2009-03-19 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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