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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: spun roulettedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 368
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1253



    Description:
       hardcore drugs are, like, so bad for you


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsspun roulettedots
    -------------------------------------------


    somehow you fly high
    above every cloud in the sky
    and here i lie
    next to the body that reminds me of you
    but somehow still leaves me blue
    cuz you have no clue
    of what youre about to do
    and you wont take off your shoes
    but thats okay
    because one day
    i just wont have the time to play
    but i wont be gay
    and i know you wont stay
    so now i begin to stray
    cuz your mind is an ashtray
    of burnt out asses
    and as you pass off cancerous gasses
    i wipe the stream off of my glasses
    and i see your face
    it seems like youve got a bad taste
    chillin on your tongue
    weve barely begun
    but somehow someones already won
    and the weight on my shoulders a ton
    youre the only one having fun
    because youre so damn fucking spun
    i see you roulette with your gun
    and youre amused
    and just as i asume
    you do resume
    to pull the trigger
    spin stop click and eventually boom
    youve reached your doom
    and its finally over
    and im not afraid to look closer
    to see the blood pooling onto your shoulder
    where you wished for a tattood clover




    Submitted on 2009-03-19 22:40:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i'm taking an updated look at your stuff.
    and it's awesome still.

    i like the almost sung quality this piece has.
    it moves it along quite nicely.
    but almost a little too fast.

    is it supposed to be quick?
    | Posted on 2009-04-16 00:00:00 | by SonOfDamascus | [ Reply to This ]
      I HAVE TO DISAGREE WITH JAZ INFACT IT AFFECTED ME IN THE OPPOSITE WAY I DIDNT COMPLETLY GET BUT I LOVED IT THE FEELING CAME THROUGH AND THE IMAGERY WAS AMAZING MY FAV LINE WAS :
    youre the only one having fun
    because youre so damn [censored] spun
    GOOD WRITE DONT BE DISCOURAGED THE THING ABOUT BEING A WRITER IS NOT EVERY ONE WILL LIKE YOUR WORK IN FACT THAT THE SIGN YOU HAVE SOMETHING AS I RECALL FEW PEOPLE LOVED PLATH N HER TIME CANT WAIT TO READ MORE
    | Posted on 2009-03-20 00:00:00 | by layDsayD | [ Reply to This ]
      I understand. But I still hate the poem.
    | Posted on 2009-03-20 00:00:00 | by Jazzy | [ Reply to This ]


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