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    dots Submission Name: I dunno how to spell spanish for 5.dots

    Author: MyWorld
    ASL Info:    21/M/IN
    Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 76/99/87
    Words: 267
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 589
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1607

       Still numbering. Am I counting down or piling up?

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    dotsI dunno how to spell spanish for 5.dots

    I'd call it writer's block but, you're right in the fact it's not
    I try to express myself but I digress that this sectionalized hell
    That is my mind, inevitably prevents me from successfully repenting
    For the things I can't do right in my life, it's like when I write I'm trying to fight myself
    And, if a light so bright would ever shine in my cell
    I might just find some kinda pride in myself
    But, the darkness enthralls me, I'm stalling, for all we've built
    I know what it'd take, but I wait, cause of all I've felt
    I believe in fate, and Imma pawn, waiting to be taken along
    Make no mistake, with so much at stake I'll stand strong
    But, if any ever belong, I feel this is it
    I feel so sick, waiting for the day it's taken, it's gone
    And, I wish the vindictiveness of this was missing
    Cause when I listen to myself
    I feel like I'm givin' in, like I'm quittin already and won't tell
    My own hell is the path I lay, I don't tell but with every passing day
    I develop myself in such a way, you mustn't take too personal
    Cause if you knew, you're truly my entire arsenal
    And my greatness is equivelant to just how far we go
    I'm sure some part of you knows, your tartness to this, that is my art; my flows
    By far, it more than shows. But, all we are, and wherever we go
    Despite the spite on which I feed, mightily my heart,
    Is forever yours I know.

    Submitted on 2009-03-20 02:38:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Psssstt... you misspelled "equivalent"... I'm not giving you points off for that because it looks like it was just a typing error. :P I also don't understand what "Imma pawn" means; and when "because" is shortened to "'cause," it must come with an apostrophe beforehand.

    I thought it was good. But I'm not very good at judging poetry so my judgment is inexperienced and biased.

    I felt it had quite a bit of ambiguity, not sure if that was intentional... What exactly does this mean, though? That your writing is not good enough for yourself because you mainly use it for venting and beating yourself up? Because if so, trust me, you're not the only one like this. hah.

    Keep writing!
    | Posted on 2009-05-21 00:00:00 | by AvalonDollika | [ Reply to This ]

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