Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: terrible slimy thingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: tricklingrain
    Elite Ratio:    5.22 - 23/17/13
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 488
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1223



    Description:
       pic:Waiting by ~techoveride


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsterrible slimy thingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    we used to hang together
    be together
    The times I spent with you
    smelt like bubbles
    I felt as light as one
    and I think you did too
    light and fun.

    We used to talk together
    be together
    Remember when we were running,
    and we willed each other to go.
    Remember when we waited for each other?
    Remember when we shared secrets?
    Do you Remember when we were friends?

    Something dark and clammy slipped through
    our close embrace.
    I thought we were friends
    but you don't call me.
    no more high fives.
    You don't see me.
    so I don't talk to you
    so I don't mail you.
    I can say I don't look at you
    but I'd be lying.
    I wish I could see your face
    and joke with you
    I wish my voice was strong
    enough to call you name
    but this terrible slimy thing
    is in the way and I can't reach you

    I thought you were my friend
    but right now you don't call me
    so I'll just keep on holding this
    secret in my arms,
    to tell you when you come





    Submitted on 2009-03-20 21:42:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172373

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    To written by SavedDragon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Bond written by saartha
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    4th of July written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry