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    dots Submission Name: White Butterfliesdots

    Author: SavedDragon
    Elite Ratio:    3.62 - 302/257/81
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 816
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 372


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    dotsWhite Butterfliesdots

    Forever seemed so promising

    The words locked well into the heart

    A betrayal seemed so daunting

    That I sure felt we would not part

    A shield gone trampled before me

    Tenderness left behind its core

    And from the body on the floor

    Its fluttering white butterflies.

    Submitted on 2009-03-21 13:59:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i should have been wearing my painproof vest...

    like bullets your leaving penetrated my heart...

    the idea of living without you so daunting i couldn't imagine it...

    but it happened..and when it did...my soul left my body...

    now there is nothing to make me tick...no pulse to my emotions.

    | Posted on 2011-04-13 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Simple words, heartfelt emotions, great visualization, nice work :D
    | Posted on 2009-03-23 00:00:00 | by Razorain | [ Reply to This ]
      thanks but this poem is not about me..most of my poems aren't. ItI create based on an emotion I want the reader to feel..n i take it from there. This is however, extracted from one of Thoreau's poems and the white butterflies signifies the soul leaving the body. He uses it in one of his poems.
    | Posted on 2009-03-23 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]
      It is a very good poem but... your rhyme is off and... well, it's just not me, the rhyme scheme, but I do like your poem, please keep up the excelent work and... i hope you recover well from this poem's meaning.
    | Posted on 2009-03-22 00:00:00 | by Plegias | [ Reply to This ]

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