Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: White Butterfliesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SavedDragon
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 303/258/84
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1125
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 372



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhite Butterfliesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Forever seemed so promising

    The words locked well into the heart

    A betrayal seemed so daunting

    That I sure felt we would not part

    A shield gone trampled before me

    Tenderness left behind its core

    And from the body on the floor

    Its fluttering white butterflies.




    Submitted on 2009-03-21 13:59:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i should have been wearing my painproof vest...

    like bullets your leaving penetrated my heart...

    the idea of living without you so daunting i couldn't imagine it...

    but it happened..and when it did...my soul left my body...

    now there is nothing to make me tick...no pulse to my emotions.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-13 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Simple words, heartfelt emotions, great visualization, nice work :D
    | Posted on 2009-03-23 00:00:00 | by Razorain | [ Reply to This ]
      thanks but this poem is not about me..most of my poems aren't. ItI create based on an emotion I want the reader to feel..n i take it from there. This is however, extracted from one of Thoreau's poems and the white butterflies signifies the soul leaving the body. He uses it in one of his poems.
    | Posted on 2009-03-23 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]
      It is a very good poem but... your rhyme is off and... well, it's just not me, the rhyme scheme, but I do like your poem, please keep up the excelent work and... i hope you recover well from this poem's meaning.
    | Posted on 2009-03-22 00:00:00 | by Plegias | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172390

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The america that I remember written by TheStillSilence
    Humanity's Loss, Humanity's Gain | prt o written by MyPeriodical
    No es asi, sabes written by MyPeriodical
    Rose colored glasses written by taintedsmiles
    Abyss (credit to Carina) written by Debauchery
    potpourri written by MyPeriodical
    residual schizophrenia written by cornonthekob
    Unraveling written by obsidiandreams
    a war on her beautiful house (bre'anna's written by Daniel Barlow
    I Just Want to Have Fun written by SavedDragon
    Layin Tracks in Here written by teika5
    Understanding the pain of growth written by MyPeriodical
    Los Desechados written by MyPeriodical
    We are Loved written by teika5
    Ahogo written by MyPeriodical
    undetermined written by MyPeriodical
    A Dream Within a Dream (My favorite EAP poem) written by Debauchery
    Generation Lost in Space written by teika5
    911 written by Soul-Hugger
    What its like written by robbie
    The Depths written by obsidiandreams
    Somewhere It's Always Morning written by Soul-Hugger
    No words written by Janesaddiction
    One OF Millions written by TeslaKoyal
    Cansansio written by MyPeriodical
    just lonesome. written by MyPeriodical
    bleeding part one written by MyPeriodical
    Challenge - Msg to a Mountain Lynx written by Daniel Barlow
    In case you didn't know written by BestxDeceptions
    Escape written by Pyrosis

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry