I catch your eyes reading the movements
of my fingers, struggling
to dig the lighter out from my pocket
for the sake of yet another countless cigarette.
One deep breath
after the next
hours of sideways glances.
We spill contagious conversation
forget what we forgot to mention
the last second
the second before that second.
They all amount to minutes unspoken
Slouched over at the end of your bed,
mind, growing bored with the contemplation
of a copper stain left on my wrist...
return to all of those monotonous
the ones that I could feel you notice.
The ones that never cease to feed continuous
echos through my head
"Please, don't be another regret".
Please, don't send me back towards that
lonesome self I've been.
But, of course, you could not listen in.
Empty bottles line up with silhouettes
Sip after sip after sip and then
it does not matter if we're friends,
your touch still bears a precocious bid
upon my drowsy skin
But tomorrow brings silence
recognition of worthlessness
from another night of careless actions.
You have no more use for this contrivance.
So, I am left to reflect...
between your breathless tone
and the word, itself,
left me swaying in ambivalence.
Though, I knew what you meant.
Or, what you wanted
it was nothing