Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sleight Of Handdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EileenToTheLeft
    ASL Info:    28/f/va
    Elite Ratio:    2.58 - 16/36/55
    Words: 179
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 518
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1200



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSleight Of Handdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What a sleight of hand you have.
    I never thought it true.
    And here you speak manipulations
    in the menacing bar room.
    But we all laugh.
    Yeah, we have jokes.
    And we are weary of the soup.
    Though, still I sip,
    when I should stop,
    until no longer can I move.

    "Are you ok? Are you ok?"
    No I'm not. No I'm not.
    Behind all of the "Ha Ha Ha"s,
    two magicians and a prop.

    What a sleight of hand you have.
    I never thought it through.
    And in your arms I'd suffocate,
    but that tightness has turned loose.
    "Come gather round. Come get a view.
    My trick's not up my sleeves.
    It hides in all the words I use,
    the cries, the sweet nothings."
    But you laugh.
    Yeah, you have jokes.
    And you live in making fools.
    For, I still ache,
    and still I want
    what I will always lose.

    "It's ok. It's ok."
    No it's not. No it's not.
    Here we drink and here we stay.
    Two magicians and a prop.






    Submitted on 2009-03-21 14:03:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it, it seemed lyrical; is it a song? The humdrum bar room culture captured in its sad hopeful evanescence. The only thing I have to say is don't change it.
    | Posted on 2009-03-24 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172393

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    You read free written by poetotoe
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Every..... written by jackz
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Love written by saartha
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry