[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: scarydots

    Author: cha
    Elite Ratio:    2.3 - 37/28/31
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 930


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Open your angel eyes wide
    donít get lost in the lavender sky
    shake all the stars from your hair
    taste your sweet, salty, bitter skin
    cut the poison from your tongue
    donít sleep beneath the candy acid sun
    please donít follow the fairy dust

    Donít sleep to heavy in your cherry blossom bed
    peel the razor peddles from your skin
    donít get lost in the fairy dust
    donít look at the fairy
    donít look at the fairy
    that fairies not pretty
    she's ugly, evil and deadly
    are you still dying
    are you still dying

    Peddle red peddle blue, kill the fairy end the doom
    peddle red peddle blue, the girl power will save you
    peddle red peddle blue, if your crazy then so am I
    are you still dying in the fairy dust
    are you still dying
    are you still dying
    kill the fairy

    Submitted on 2009-03-21 19:22:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I see what you are saying that the most appealing things are the most dangerous and the people you love the most can end up in a life that is conrolled by such eil. But also beauty is vain unless followed by a caring an compassionate heart. But you could have picked a different way to say it. I think a rhyme scheme would have greatly benefitted you here. but all in all an ok poem. And I don't want to push myself upon you but I do want to get to know you, but it's your call oh and is that your real pic?
    | Posted on 2009-03-27 00:00:00 | by Doublefeather | [ Reply to This ]
      It started out ok, but ended kind of clichť' like.
    | Posted on 2009-03-25 00:00:00 | by BestxDeceptions | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]