[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: my father taught me to kill the sunflowerdots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 645
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1329


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy father taught me to kill the sunflowerdots

    the angles not right...
    i see moonlight drift off
    the outer membrane,
    the pink of it,
    the place
    where algae catches
    in the corona
    of your lost eye
    remembering everything.

    plays of the tongue
    twirl off
    the milky surface
    of the skin.
    the cells of it
    make their way
    through time
    & space
    to green nowhere.

    through the mud
    & the endless happy
    i make my way
    through a forest
    souping itself
    into a liquid bliss.
    the leaves catch
    in the undergrowth
    of my inner birth.

    in my palm
    the sunflower murmurs on
    in low whispers
    that even birds can't hear.
    there is something wrong
    with this place.
    each breath
    brings no resolution.
    i've seen you all
    sprouting stalks
    & snowflakes,
    gnashing heather
    with your teeth made of corn.

    i plant you
    beneath the oaks
    to linger
    through my words,
    lost in the insects
    that constantly eat me.
    & i've managed,
    to have never seen
    your leaves
    before they brown.

    Submitted on 2009-03-24 16:19:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very good, it shows an interesting way of seeing the world.
    I have no citicisms.
    | Posted on 2009-04-02 00:00:00 | by BanSidhe | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it. It makes me thinbk of a rap song for a reason IDK.
    | Posted on 2009-03-24 00:00:00 | by wolfgurl830 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Every..... written by jackz
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Push written by JanePlane
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]