Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: my father taught me to kill the sunflowerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 663
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1329



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy father taught me to kill the sunflowerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the angles not right...
    i see moonlight drift off
    the outer membrane,
    the pink of it,
    the place
    where algae catches
    in the corona
    of your lost eye
    remembering everything.

    plays of the tongue
    twirl off
    the milky surface
    of the skin.
    god,
    the cells of it
    make their way
    through time
    & space
    to green nowhere.

    through the mud
    & the endless happy
    mulching,
    i make my way
    through a forest
    souping itself
    into a liquid bliss.
    the leaves catch
    in the undergrowth
    of my inner birth.

    in my palm
    the sunflower murmurs on
    in low whispers
    that even birds can't hear.
    there is something wrong
    with this place.
    each breath
    brings no resolution.
    i've seen you all
    sprouting stalks
    & snowflakes,
    gnashing heather
    with your teeth made of corn.

    i plant you
    beneath the oaks
    to linger
    through my words,
    lost in the insects
    that constantly eat me.
    & i've managed,
    somehow,
    to have never seen
    your leaves
    before they brown.




    Submitted on 2009-03-24 16:19:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very good, it shows an interesting way of seeing the world.
    I have no citicisms.
    | Posted on 2009-04-02 00:00:00 | by BanSidhe | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it. It makes me thinbk of a rap song for a reason IDK.
    | Posted on 2009-03-24 00:00:00 | by wolfgurl830 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172516

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    The Promise written by annie0888
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by Chelebel
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry