[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Circusdots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Misc/Nature
    Total Views: 506
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 398

       Lots and lots of experiment. Evidently I am not getting through to anyone. Please give me some feedback if anything strikes you. I'de like something that looks into the piece.

    Bah. Thanks.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Possible to carve into a balloon and not pop it?

    Holding air, building fences,from a dual perspective

    A thick wooden handled blade does a fairly good job

    Right now there is a dent of definition
    and a vague very miniscule hint at
    a face

    where the watch can be broken
    and the girl can be free

    Submitted on 2009-03-24 22:51:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      [censored] what the others say do not ever chance a thought in its purest that is what is meant to be said and portrayed if they don't get it [censored] em. poem to me seems that for something to change face in your life needs to something and exact like a knife into a balloon. so that you can help your relations like that of the fence you speak of. (good or bad) i think bad but to each his/her own. the watch you refers to time and regime, break that and youll be free(so they say) its seems to me as if your trying to be yourself the best you can with your expressions and trying so hard for people to get where your coming from... let yourself loose and youll will see over time that you are closely related to others more than you think
    | Posted on 2009-04-09 00:00:00 | by oneinchman | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm . . . I don't understand this. I like how you flow from thought to thought. The "carve into a balloon . . . " - to me it seems like a comment on how fragile life is. And the "building fences . . . dual perspective" seems like a comment on how we are different people with different people and how we don't really show who we are . . . or some sort schizophrenic thing . . . . And the knife with the wooden handle - suicide? And the final part "watch . . . " is the part I understand. You break the watch - time stops and now you can rome free type thing, dreamy. It's cool. But I don't really understand the whole thing as a whole. Very well written though. It's like each line could be a different poem. Cool stuff.
    | Posted on 2009-03-29 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not going to pretend I am completely with you on this but the first line did pop out at me as a good analogy of pushing limits. Maybe you could expand on that somehow I'm not sure but there is definatley potential there. It seems very fragmented at the moment but still it's more interesting that a lot of stuff around here! I'd like to see this in a more concentrated state so if you do then please update me.

    | Posted on 2009-03-25 00:00:00 | by Dead Bell | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Every..... written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Bond written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Push written by JanePlane
    Linger written by saartha
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]