Circus by lori

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Submission Name: Circus dots

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Author:	lori_tab
ASL Info:	19/f/alabama
Elite Ratio:	3.99 - 1202/1167/316
Words:	66

Class/Type:	Misc/Nature
Total Views:	90
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	398

Description:
Lots and lots of experiment. Evidently I am not getting through to anyone. Please give me some feedback if anything strikes you. I'de like something that looks into the piece.

Bah. Thanks.

Circus

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Possible to carve into a balloon and not pop it?

Holding air, building fences,from a dual perspective

A thick wooden handled blade does a fairly good job

Right now there is a dent of definition
and a vague very miniscule hint at
a face

where the watch can be broken
and the girl can be free

Submitted on 2009-03-24 22:51:02 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  [censored] what the others say do not ever chance a thought in its purest that is what is meant to be said and portrayed if they don't get it [censored] em. poem to me seems that for something to change face in your life needs to something and exact like a knife into a balloon. so that you can help your relations like that of the fence you speak of. (good or bad) i think bad but to each his/her own. the watch you refers to time and regime, break that and youll be free(so they say) its seems to me as if your trying to be yourself the best you can with your expressions and trying so hard for people to get where your coming from... let yourself loose and youll will see over time that you are closely related to others more than you think
| Posted on 2009-04-09 00:00:00 | by oneinchman | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmm . . . I don't understand this. I like how you flow from thought to thought. The "carve into a balloon . . . " - to me it seems like a comment on how fragile life is. And the "building fences . . . dual perspective" seems like a comment on how we are different people with different people and how we don't really show who we are . . . or some sort schizophrenic thing . . . . And the knife with the wooden handle - suicide? And the final part "watch . . . " is the part I understand. You break the watch - time stops and now you can rome free type thing, dreamy. It's cool. But I don't really understand the whole thing as a whole. Very well written though. It's like each line could be a different poem. Cool stuff.
| Posted on 2009-03-29 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm not going to pretend I am completely with you on this but the first line did pop out at me as a good analogy of pushing limits. Maybe you could expand on that somehow I'm not sure but there is definatley potential there. It seems very fragmented at the moment but still it's more interesting that a lot of stuff around here! I'd like to see this in a more concentrated state so if you do then please update me.

Phil
| Posted on 2009-03-25 00:00:00 | by Dead Bell | [ Reply to This ]

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