Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the fifth...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: suicidalacts72
    ASL Info:    20/f/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 189/150/69
    Words: 208
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 564
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1565



    Description:
       fri. will be five years since my mom passed away...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe fifth...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    that time of year
    when the dead rise
    beauty at its fullest
    decay swept away
    off the bone
    cold and alone she lay
    on a bed of gravel
    left the remains
    on the shards of love
    left overs
    they fade
    the worms will come
    flesh dissolved
    forever gone from me
    the fifth year
    a mothers love lost
    not forgotten
    but tears can't fall
    by the fifth
    your stone
    erroded and fragile
    left waiting
    in silence
    to only dive yourself
    completely insane
    is the pain over?
    NEVER
    forever is longer then i thought
    in the next life
    will we meet?
    nothing compares to a mothers love
    except hers
    so much more
    then it should be
    this comfort
    this serenity
    will i ever feel home
    or alive again
    should i just let go
    the world
    a ball, a circle
    endless
    move on
    help i scream
    into the nothingness of my soul
    forsaken
    damaged
    never to love again
    my life giver gone
    is my life?
    the glitter faded
    all too soon
    left behind
    consumed
    the fifth
    a knife
    collided inside
    deep within
    under the skin
    beneath the muscles
    my heart
    broken
    save me
    or not
    too late...
    this dark space
    tormented
    the breaking point
    my fifth
    i sleep...




    Submitted on 2009-03-25 21:25:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow.. so usually i read poems along these lines and i give after a few lines. it's so difficult to find a writer that can portray these emotions without it sounding like a 14 year old girls self-hate journal of woe. this, on the other hand, was stunning. it kept me reading until the last time. this was a fantastic piece of writing on your part. very deep, very well worded, very beautiful. thanks.
    | Posted on 2009-03-31 00:00:00 | by blackbird | [ Reply to This ]
      sorry to hear that hun the poem was very emotional it reminded me of my own pain lomming around the courner the 29th of april will be my sons 2 year old birthday and i havnt seen him since he was 6 months good poem though i hope you continue to wright
    | Posted on 2009-03-31 00:00:00 | by darkonesgirl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172571

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry