The Sad Feelings of the Soul Unborn

Author: Sepheroth432 ASL Info:    24/Male/Michigan Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 56 /45 /28 Words: 123

Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed Total Views: 2009 Average Vote:    5.0000 Bytes: 742

Description:

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The Sad Feelings of the Soul Unborn

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a love never to be told a heart never to behold no cries to lull these are the sad feelings of the soul unborn no running round no playing on the ground no bruises to kiss these are the sad feeling of the soul unborn No bed time stories No getting them ready for school no homework to look over and examine the doodles these are the sad feelings of the soul unborn No car to give no parties to trow no graduation to even go these are the sad feelings of the soul unborn No child of its own no life to unfold no love to find these are the sad feeling of the soul unborn

Submitted on 2009-03-26 08:36:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

A beautiful piece. My heart aches for you, and those around you, but most especially for your baby. Nitpicking, I would either switch the title to "Sadness of a Soul Unborn" or switch the words in the last line of each stanza to match the title now. Personally, I like the latter better, as it has better flow. The third line in the first stanza, 'lul' is spelled 'lull', and in the second line of the fourth stanza, 'trow' should be 'throw' The last stanza is my favorite, as I have thought this myself, about my past and when others make that choice. You worded this beautifully, and it not only speaks but sings. You have grown as a writer already, I think. This is a wonderful way to remember what almost was, and something that you will never forget. I hope that whereever your baby is, they have found peace, and will know the love you didn't get to show them. Lady Rose

| Posted on 2009-03-26 00:00:00 | by Texan_Poet | [ Reply to This ]

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