[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: What would you do?dots

    Author: Plegias
    ASL Info:    17/ male/ my house
    Elite Ratio:    3.25 - 37/23/40
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 480
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1061


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat would you do?dots

    What would you do,
    If I were to say to you,
    That I flew high
    Up in the sky?

    What would you do,
    If I were to say to you,
    That I see light
    Every single night?

    What would you do,
    If I were to say to you,
    That I wanted to be
    Having fun in the sea?

    What would you do,
    If I could take you,
    Beyond the skies
    Away from human lies?

    What would you do,
    If I could take you,
    To see that light
    I see to heighten your delight?

    What would you do,
    If I could take you,
    Beyond World's end
    To spend with a friend?

    Would you leave?
    Would you stay?
    Would you believe
    Or would you look away?

    Would you come with me?
    Would you stay here?
    Would you change your mind
    And draw me near?

    I promise you this,
    These will come true,
    But the Question remains:
    What would you do?

    Submitted on 2009-03-27 23:48:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed reading this The poetic vibe is most defiantly, there. And your rhymes are catchy and easy to rmember and play back in your head like a tape recorder.

    I think my favorite line was:

    What would you do,
    If I could take you,
    Beyond the skies
    Away from human lies?

    It seemed to have more meaning than the rest to me. The words jointed together better, making me read it twice to actually get what you were talking about.

    I'm curious to know what was on your mind, when you wrote this piece, most likely alot of questions

    ~Very Nice~

    -Spaz, Earths Last Hope-
    | Posted on 2009-07-13 00:00:00 | by clarywhite wolf | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Summer written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Linger written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Wavelength written by saartha
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]