Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When I Close my Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 460
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 918



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen I Close my Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I close my heart
    I think of my time spent with you
    I can feel it crying out
    Wanting what is long overdue

    It scratches at my chest
    To draw my attention
    It reminds me of good times
    Too many to mention

    Sometimes it feels wrong
    Sealing my heart away
    So I don't think about it
    My emotions kept at bay

    And maybe I feel dead
    It's better than dying at least
    Love beats numb beats pain
    Yet numb has little release

    All I can really do
    Is close my eyes
    One foot in front of the other
    And sacrifice

    But my feet now do all the leading
    My heart is shut out of it all
    Maybe one day they'll lead to
    Where there's no room left to fall

    But until then, when I close my heart
    I think of you




    Submitted on 2009-03-30 00:44:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the flow to this poem alot, there are very few people out there that can rhyme without it seeming forced, and i believ u are in that catergory. Eyes and sacrifice has got to be the best rhyming pair i've seen in a long time ^_^

    Great job
    Cry
    | Posted on 2009-03-31 00:00:00 | by WhY-dO-yOu-CrY | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172704

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Incubus written by monad
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Linger written by saartha
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    This written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Giving written by jjd

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry