Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When I Close my Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 456
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 918



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen I Close my Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I close my heart
    I think of my time spent with you
    I can feel it crying out
    Wanting what is long overdue

    It scratches at my chest
    To draw my attention
    It reminds me of good times
    Too many to mention

    Sometimes it feels wrong
    Sealing my heart away
    So I don't think about it
    My emotions kept at bay

    And maybe I feel dead
    It's better than dying at least
    Love beats numb beats pain
    Yet numb has little release

    All I can really do
    Is close my eyes
    One foot in front of the other
    And sacrifice

    But my feet now do all the leading
    My heart is shut out of it all
    Maybe one day they'll lead to
    Where there's no room left to fall

    But until then, when I close my heart
    I think of you




    Submitted on 2009-03-30 00:44:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the flow to this poem alot, there are very few people out there that can rhyme without it seeming forced, and i believ u are in that catergory. Eyes and sacrifice has got to be the best rhyming pair i've seen in a long time ^_^

    Great job
    Cry
    | Posted on 2009-03-31 00:00:00 | by WhY-dO-yOu-CrY | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172704

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer written by layDsayD
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Giving written by jjd
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry