Description: A dear friend inspired this when his stories touched my heart. This goes out to him, my inspriation.
My Sweet Fallen Angel -------------------------------------------
Sweet smiles and a gentle laugh
Sense of humor more lovely by half
I see your pain when you think I miss
And then say to myself "You need this"
I show my affection and I stay true
There is nothing but truth when I am with you
Fun and games can last for hours
And it is as if you have these powers
You are my angel though fallen you may be
And I believe that you will soon see
With help even the worst can be brought joy
Whether by love or even a simple little toy
My Sweet Fallen Angel you know me so well
And it is like a secret we may never tell
We laugh and we play and become merry with delight
And soon you start to lose your fright
You stay with me and your heart is filled through
There is nothing I would do more than to lie there next to you
My Sweet Fallen Angel never say good-bye
For if you do my heart may surely cry
As I see your smile and hear your voice
I know surely I have made my choice
I will always be there for my Sweet Fallen Angel's desire
And can only hope that he never tire
I can bring joy and I can bring love
And I can send my Sweet Fallen Angel back to the above
Although it's entirely inappropriate for a man of my age to like this of you . I let it take me back to my days of youthful romanticness and it was most refreshing , even inspiring . I suggest again a poem I wrote in my youth called Dream . Although it's not as eloquent as yours perhaps you'll find it smileable .
Ps: I seem to agree with Texan_Poet on the gramaticals
A very nice piece. It can be easy to give yourself fully to the other person, but remember to maintain your distinct identity.
The flow on this piece is good, and I like your phrasing also. But you may want to try splitting up the lines a bit to have more effect as a whole and divide up some of the ideas so they will be more distinct.
A sweet smile, a gentle laugh.
Sense of humor?
More lovely than any other by half.
I see the pain you think I miss,
Think to myself, "You need this"
I show my affection,
Keep myself, my heart, true,
There are no lies with you.
Fun and games can last for hours,
And it's almost like...
You have these amazing joyful powers.
You are my angel,
Though fallen you may be
Just an idea. You have a good talent for writing with your heart and expressing your feelings, I look forward to seeing more of your work.