from a distance, with the brain fitting in the missing pieces, this looks like s america or a very thin africa,
and since sibliant fricatives are most common in the khoisan languages of africa, i was momentarily distracted.
i think however, that you have been just giving your words more space to show them to best effect.
it was worth reading them. actually i would have delighted in them even if you had not arranged them this way.
( perhaps it was a determined effort on your part to eliminate meanderings from myopic old biddies)
fortunately my eyesight at this distance is fine thank you(!)
and i am with Daniel on this one, in that it does sound lovely if you read it without dwelling on it too deeply.
i think many of us have those glossed over weekends and some too, hear those dischordant instruments in our heads from time to time. i have too many of those 'if only' moments ..should any be bliss? on reflection, probably not.
do your roadies make 'sibliance checks' these days?