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La Raza Through thatched huts the vehement noon is pounding, pounding brittle cracks in sun-dried straw. So forceful like the woman's pestle grinding corn for dinner. Driving kernels hard and kneading, kneading south where rays confront equator straight and flat. But yet the rays are whimsical. They venture wild paths at every bend. And curve around my bottle’s neck. They turn and light the liquid gold through glinting glass, where cold and clear the beading water droplets leave a darkened pool on splintered wood. The black-winged flies' sharp buzzing stirs the dirt my booted heel digs round and round. The Pintos are tacked and set to ride, their saddles smoothly worn down at the horn from gripping hands. I feel the pop of metal snug on leather as I cinch the straps, of dust-caked stirrups swinging slack along the girth. I mount. I know disguised among dry brushes lies the sun-bleached sandy shore where sea refracts and angles beams of light that sparkle in each tiny dip upon the ocean’s lucid surface. the water gleams with more facets than jewelers' past have carefully cut. The glimmers flee with each new wave but soon emerge again reborn. And leave my mind to contemplate a place that celebrates the dead. I lost my sense of century along this undeveloped shore. This atmosphere’s intense with strange irreparable reality; a restless quake below my feet like Mayan bones that dance to beats beneath deserted Indian ground. |
I like this a lot! Good use of repetition and also i noticed a lot of alliteration. It all works very well. Keep writing.| Posted on 2009-04-01 00:00:00 | by EileenToTheLeft | [ Reply to This ] | Your enjambment was quite superb, offering many cuts of light, perhaps too much so? I read on and on but it never came. | I think sometimes there is merit in loosening your grip on the reins so that the beast might take the trail beyond where the eye might have you go. This is to say that sometimes seven strains of meaningless wonder can lead where best laid plans never wander. and that there is music in the land. | Posted on 2009-03-31 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ] | |