Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Red Room

Author: Toosha
ASL Info:    18/f/SD
Elite Ratio:    1.84 - 20 /13 /11
Words: 224
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 750
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1317


The Red Room

She sits in this corner in complete solitary
this room is red, a deep blood red, like death
the only color to express how she feels
she will stay in this room for awhile, not going out of her boundary
she wonders if today will be the day she will take her last breath
for there is nothing worth living anymore, there is nothing to mend, nothing to heal

she seeks out for help, someone to fathom her thoughts
something to comfort her
all she finds is this red room
where she writes about all the battles in her life she has fought
she is pissed
no one listens to her cries
no one cares
she needs encouragement, but instead tightens her hand into a fist
for she is so sick of the lies
about how everything will be okay and she will be in their prayers

she knows they all say these things to not be bothered by her
to be done with her, quick and uncomplicated
because no one really fears the ending of her life
so, she'll sit in this red room, her whole life now a blur
tonight suicide is what she contemplated
she looks down at the object holding in her hands; her lustrous, inviting knife.
for tonight really is the ultimate ending.

Submitted on 2009-03-31 13:03:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  first paragraph: shows loneliness and mental disability

second paragraph: having lost thoughts , uncontrol feelings , reaching out for help

Third paragraph: suicide is her answer due to rejection

Great poem very emotional and dark , very detailed , stayed on the right track , add little vision to grab the reader heart, keep writing
| Posted on 2009-04-02 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?