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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Smile and Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: overthinker
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 13/16/7
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 761
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1137



    Description:
       Just posting a few of my writes, thanks to all for the feedback on previous posts. I'll respond soon, I promise!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Smile and Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I know it means nothing 'cause you won't really hear me

    Which is funny 'cause all around you can see it so clearly

    You claim to be more than what you see on your skin

    But I know you, and I'm telling you there's nothing within

    Your beauty is skin deep, you're nothing but shell

    You throw us a smile, but inside you're in hell

    You're never aware of how transparent you are

    So I'm calling you out, and I'm raising the bar

    'Cause though I don't say it much, I really do feel

    There are so many more things, that make someone "real"

    It has nothing to do with the ones you impress

    'Cause they're fooled by your smile, the one thing you posess

    Anything deeper will scare you away

    So hide all your feelings, and keep them at bay

    Never let anyone see what is true

    'Cause you'll be left alone, your smile and you...




    Submitted on 2009-03-31 21:12:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey overthinker! I'm here just like u asked :) i know whatcha mean when i finished reading your piece. here's to the random similarity :)

    kip on writing!
    D-Ink
    | Posted on 2009-05-10 00:00:00 | by D-Ink | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like it. I know someone like that, good work.
    | Posted on 2009-04-02 00:00:00 | by BanSidhe | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172778

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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    January 10 07
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