Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Smile and Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: overthinker
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 13/16/7
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 530
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1137



    Description:
       Just posting a few of my writes, thanks to all for the feedback on previous posts. I'll respond soon, I promise!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Smile and Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I know it means nothing 'cause you won't really hear me

    Which is funny 'cause all around you can see it so clearly

    You claim to be more than what you see on your skin

    But I know you, and I'm telling you there's nothing within

    Your beauty is skin deep, you're nothing but shell

    You throw us a smile, but inside you're in hell

    You're never aware of how transparent you are

    So I'm calling you out, and I'm raising the bar

    'Cause though I don't say it much, I really do feel

    There are so many more things, that make someone "real"

    It has nothing to do with the ones you impress

    'Cause they're fooled by your smile, the one thing you posess

    Anything deeper will scare you away

    So hide all your feelings, and keep them at bay

    Never let anyone see what is true

    'Cause you'll be left alone, your smile and you...




    Submitted on 2009-03-31 21:12:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey overthinker! I'm here just like u asked :) i know whatcha mean when i finished reading your piece. here's to the random similarity :)

    kip on writing!
    D-Ink
    | Posted on 2009-05-10 00:00:00 | by D-Ink | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like it. I know someone like that, good work.
    | Posted on 2009-04-02 00:00:00 | by BanSidhe | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172778

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry