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    dots Submission Name: Relentless White Linesdots

    Author: edthepoet
    ASL Info:    47-m-Pa
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 1476/991/125
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 680
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 814


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRelentless White Linesdots

    Relentless White Lines

    Looking down upon where a body once laid

    The chalky outline looks very familiar

    Trying desperately to picture the space between the lines in 3D

    Tears begin to seep

    As the picture begin to appear

    The white chalk line suddenly disappears

    Leaving me wondering what is happening or has happened

    Fear command the reality and possibly the unconscious mind

    Filtering through the darkened bleakness to acquire the truth

    Stumbling mindlessly and cautiously upon the advantage of self-observation

    Am I witnessing from a heavenly view, a distressed dream

    or praying itís an anxiety attack that soon to fade

    Submitted on 2009-04-02 22:12:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oh wow... I'm SO happy to see you posting again... this will make me return to the site more often... that's for sure!

    This poem makes me feel as if you were in an accident or are the victim of a crime... and they've put the white lines around you, depicting the body... seems almost surreal... as if it's not happening to you and you're viewing from outside...

    Amazing word choice adding a poingnant, sorrowful feel to the piece.

    Great write!
    | Posted on 2009-04-03 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]

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