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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dangers in the Darkdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: simpleandgreen
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 39/141/136
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 878
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1564



    Description:
       I know it's a little out there but i feel that more people should start caring about the issues.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDangers in the Darkdots
    -------------------------------------------


    "It only happens in the day."
    Said the boy when he caught the sight,
    Of the dancing, flourishing, moon light.
    "Only when the sun comes out to play.

    Oh how wrong was the little boy!
    It doesn't matter if it's morning or noon,
    In fact more dangers would be coming soon.
    The little boy would not be jumping for joy.

    The little boy listened to what they all said.
    How the Sun was to blame for how the ice melts,
    How encouraged they all felt!
    He was told he was safe that night when he went to bed.

    He saw the future in his sleep.
    More and more died of heat stroke,
    Soon, there was no more old country folk,
    The water started rising, knee deep.

    Every thing happened at night, not day!
    The water dried up, no where to be seen,
    With all the floods, how quenched be might of been.
    As he watched the plants wither away.

    He also saw in his dream,
    How the atmosphere was thinning!
    The sun's rays were winning!
    He could hear infants cry and scream.

    He also saw what used to be the sky.
    What used to be saphire, was now grey.
    More pollutants rose as more people say,
    "Help! Were all gonna die!"

    The boy woke up with a horrid fright.
    The earth died and the fossil fuels won.
    The frightening damage was already done.
    "We are definatly not safe at night!"




    Submitted on 2009-04-03 15:17:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice. The rhymes are good, but you could've worked more on making line-length regular. Also, there are a couple typos that you really should try to avoid in future writings.
    | Posted on 2012-05-14 00:00:00 | by WTKR | [ Reply to This ]
      You started the poem very well, the beginning reall stirred interest. the end however was kind of surprising, unlike what i expected. But it pleases me that there are people who write poems about the environmental crisis. Hats off to you for the theme!
    | Posted on 2009-04-04 00:00:00 | by rsujith | [ Reply to This ]
      mystify , my question is : What are the real dangers in the dark?, i like the way you put the passage together , leaving a upswing of a tale of intrigue , great poem
    | Posted on 2009-04-04 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]


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