Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Daddy, I love you


Author: XxSkyelerxX
ASL Info:    12/Female/Varies
Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 11 /27 /16
Words: 194
Class/Type: Misc /
Total Views: 1308
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1145



Description:




Daddy, I love you



There was nothing I could do. I was staring into the face of a monster. A ruthless, merciless demon. In his eyes, I wasn't even a number. Not only was I an accidental creation with no reason to live, I was a murderer with no right to live.
Which, I was, by definition.
"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry!"
I might as well have been talking to a hungry panther. The look in his eyes was wild, crazed. Far beyond hearing the explaination I'd screamed, at least, a thousand times.
He swung that bat over me, again, this time hitting my arm.
I heard the crack before I felt it.
"DADDY!"
He looked at the bloody heap that I was, and his eyes softened. Not by much, but maybe enough to rid me of this torture, for just one night. One night to redeem myself for the accidental murder I'd commited.
No. No, there was no redemption for what I'd done. That's why I was here, suffering.
No, my tears and my pleas weren't enough, because he raised that bet again, this time bashing through my skull.
"Daddy, I love you."




Submitted on 2009-04-05 21:21:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I assure you I will add another comment at a later date... but, this raises truly terrifying memories within me, like a soldier with PTSD.
I applaud you.

C.
| Posted on 2010-02-25 00:00:00 | by misschalloner | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow so intense.Is this part of a life you had.It sends images to my mind.It gives a horrible scene but its well written.Great Work!
| Posted on 2009-04-06 00:00:00 | by wolfgurl830 | [ Reply to This ]
  So I've seen... Damn... Thanks, Kio.


Haha, thanks, Rose. I think I could've added more detail, I dunno, to make the scene more agonized, but for some reason I left it alone. Sometimes when I try to add more detail, it just seems like I'm trying too hard.
And, I take it it didn't seem like I wasn't trying hard enough?
| Posted on 2009-04-06 00:00:00 | by XxSkyelerxX | [ Reply to This ]
  Amanda...you can certainly describe a horrible scene between a violence obsessed father, which (I assume) is getting back at his daughter for the accidental murder of her mother.

Just as another note, none of the codes for the ESRP work in this section.
| Posted on 2009-04-06 00:00:00 | by Kio | [ Reply to This ]
  This is darkerish(tottally a word).I LOVE IT! Your very talented!
| Posted on 2009-04-06 00:00:00 | by rosealiehale | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



172963