[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Rosesdots

    Author: Roselize
    Elite Ratio:    2.62 - 22/40/27
    Words: 242
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 474
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1557

       I have no clue what this poem is actually about. Read it and make up your own mind. Oh, and please comment.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    This room is quiet,
    The silence groans,
    In empty, frail, yet powerful tones,
    As I am pacing to and fro,
    I cannot stay, I dare not go,

    This room is empty,
    Save for me (and for my longing to be free),
    A desk, some paper, pen and chair,
    About all else I do not care,

    Sometimes it's dark, sometimes there's light,
    Sometimes it's day and sometimes night,
    But all I see are shades of gray,
    Surrounding me with bleak dismay,

    I glance upon my desk, and there,
    (I never saw a sight so fair),
    A vase of roses suddenly stands,
    I touch the vase with shaking hands,

    I counted them and there are nine,
    And that makes me feel, oh, so fine,
    And I myself feel like a rose,
    (Though why I do so - no-one knows)

    Then ten roses are we in all,
    The other nine hold me enthralled,
    And so I sit upon my chair,
    And stare and stare and stare and stare,

    Then, all at once, the nine start wilting,
    Petals drooping, stems all tilting,
    Falling, breaking, melting, shrinking,
    Till my mind cannot help thinking,
    That my roses are all dying,

    The desk is wet! I must be crying!
    Hands are shaking,
    Voice is breaking,

    Then my roses, shudder, perish,
    Everything I want and cherish,
    Through the silence rings a moan,

    I am, once again...
    ... Alone.

    Submitted on 2009-04-06 15:38:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really, really liked the poem. It was one of the type of poems that rhymed, which I rarely come upon. I really liked that I could imagine what was happening. The poem made me feel happy talking about beautiful roses, and sad when they wilted away and the writer cried, or as said in the poem.
    | Posted on 2009-04-08 00:00:00 | by ikoshima | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Every..... written by jackz
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Love written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Records I written by Raphael
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    prison written by ShyOne
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]