Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Doveflight: A Preludedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadowstar13
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 191/191/129
    Words: 417
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 637
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2641



    Description:
       Prelude to "Helena's Lament"


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDoveflight: A Preludedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Her soul it fled this world then,
    Flying on otherworldly winds of night
    Her soul in blood-stained plumage then
    Flew from this world in a blur of white

    Her eyes shone like sapphires bright
    Upon that cursed, god-poisoned night
    If she'd only had the sense to flee
    Before she dissolved into the light

    I thought that I had seen it all:
    I've seen battles fought on my shores
    Seen sailors frolick with their whores
    And the spoils of many bloody wars
    Were spilled just before me

    But there she stood, dressed all in light
    Glowing like the moon above
    Her very smile breaking the night
    Waiting in hope for her "true love"

    Glittering not half as well
    Were the jewels on her throat and arms
    Much gold and rubies, I could tell
    If she wasn't careful, she'd come to harm

    And so her beau came, cloaked in black-
    An odd color in which to elope
    With him he carried a small canvas sack
    Tied loosely at the neck with some rope

    She beamed wider still as he came close
    Her joy seemed to outshine the moon
    And her blue eyes glittered full of tears
    Reflecting light as if of noon

    His face was stone-well, I'd thought
    Perhaps he is that kind of man
    Ever brooding over his lot
    In life-such people can
    Attract the lasses more than a dandy.

    She waited for the one she loved
    He moved, then, as if to embrace
    His hand then went to his side
    Withdrew a dagger, drove it into the lace

    And there she fell, all dressed in white
    I felt my torrents turn to ice
    He slashed her, more, with all his might
    And she dropped like some pagan sacrifice

    From off her neck he took the chain
    And took her bracelets gold
    As she stumbled up, screaming in pain
    He dissapeared into the black

    She walked, then crawled, calling out
    But no one came to aid the maid
    Then with one last mangled shout
    She fell on the rocks, Charon's fee paid

    Her blood my waves lapped up that night
    And her tears, I did as well
    Then, a sister heard of the poor bride's plight
    And I predicted a raising of Hell.

    In millenia I've never seen such love
    And never seen it so betrayed
    Her soul fled this world like a dove
    White and red as the dress in which she was slain




    Submitted on 2009-04-06 18:02:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Damn! lol I'm at a loss for words here. It was unbelievable, so good. lol I'm speechless!!

    WOW!!

    ~Jaymee
    | Posted on 2009-04-11 00:00:00 | by PhantomRose | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    172994

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    ME written by jjd
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    untitled written by Chelebel
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry