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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Choir of Cricketsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 955
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 310



    Description:
       This is from the spring, so that explains it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Choir of Cricketsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A choir of crickets
    kept me company,
    for I was unable to sleep,
    and their voices cheered me,
    for they mean that springtime
    sas begun her dance,
    and the white, solitary winter
    will fade into memory
    to be replaced by pink, yellow and green.





    Submitted on 2004-07-14 16:17:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hey! Great imagery in this. I probably could've heard the crickets if I wasn't listening to music! I like the description of winter. "White and solitary" Great job, I really enjoyed this.
    --blt
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      nice picture...looks beautiful there...though the poem is springy i like it...the part about the crikets keeping you company...i dont know i just got this image of it in my head...lol...anyways ...no complaintsvery enjoyable...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      this seems a bit short...you could say more about winter or mention winter colors like u did with spring. but thats a good one!
    BrennA
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      Cuddle...I woul leave off the "and' in the last line. I think it would read more smoothly with out it. Crickets can be disgusting bugs if taken in packs but if it's only the song, they're okay.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      for the last line you could either leave off the "and" or insert "and be replaced.."
    up in the Michigan north woods we hear those choirs of crickets all summer, but it has to be warm enough. Not there yet, no lightning bugs yet either.
    Have a good one.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      It's the wrong season here in the U.S. to be writing about that... but I thought it was really good! The lenth was fine and I love the title. Crickets are something I really associate with the coming of summer. Nice write!
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      spring fits very well to the weather outside. cloudy, then and again rain and less than 15C (about 60F). bad weather in Germany. but it will be nice, warm and sunny on the weekend if you can believe the forecasts.
    anyway I really like this piece. but as the others pointed out there's a 'be' missing in the last line.
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      when i moved down to florida, i had the hardest trouble sleeping...sonething was missing...it was those damn Michigan crickets...amazing how you can get so used to something without even realizing it...this was a very nice piece...brought back good memories, although i probably won't be able to sleep tonite and that will be all your fault...lol
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the sound of crickets! perhaps that's what was keeping you awake! lol! i like the reference to the white snow at the end being replaced with pink, yellow and green. this is a sweet poem, ushering in the spring to come. i love season poems. thanks for sharing this oldie but goodie!
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      my comment made it sound like i think spring is coming! lol! i can already feel the autum in the air, and i can't wait, for it is my favourite season.
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely Amy, I too like the little harbingers of spring no matter what clas and order they belong to--I only dislike mosquitoes as a sure sign of summer! I think the only thing I would change is remove the "and" from the last line---or you could add "be" after the and--but I read it both ways and seems more like you without the and, Nice one. Silver
    | Posted on 2004-07-15 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I fully agree, you're short a be. Then again, knowing you maybe, it could be a bee? I'll go look in the hivery, for some eloquent thievery of sweet honey. Right now i just cannot see. Nice poem as usual Amy.
    | Posted on 2004-07-15 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      Amy,

    I love your poetry which is usually full of rich color and vibrant ideas. This one, while pretty and happy with it's talk of the coming spring, it sort of on the blah side. It just seems too ordinary.

    Please take no offence. I liked it...really. I just know you are so much deeper than this. Of course, we can't always be perfect. You usually some close though. Hugzz.
    | Posted on 2004-07-15 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]


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