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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Reborndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Texan_Poet
    ASL Info:    20/F/daydreaming
    Elite Ratio:    5.7 - 127/123/48
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/
    Total Views: 430
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 567



    Description:
       Another of my older ones. People often times romanticize vampires, myself included. I'm sure that, like people, not all are bad, but on the other hand, like people, not all are good. Thanks to Shadowstar13 for a title!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsReborndots
    -------------------------------------------


    Thick and warm and sickly sweet
    It satisfies a lust,
    A need I never knew was there;
    To rend and tear flesh from flesh,
    To breath in the scent of fear,
    The musk of coming death.
    To take the souls of the pious,
    To drink of the stolen elixir of life;
    For me at least.

    I have been made.
    The bite has been given,
    The blood has been taken;
    I walk into the world of Darklight,
    Reborn.
    A vampire now.
    A killer, a monster;
    The same as I always was, inside.




    Submitted on 2009-04-07 09:51:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I thought this was good too, quite restrained and that's what made it seem real.

    The last line isn't quite what I'd hoped for though. Content is good but....

    I think it would be cool for the whole second part of the poem to question whether the person was made

    have I been made.
    The bite was given,
    The blood was taken;
    Do I walk in the world of Darklight,
    Reborn.
    A vampire now.
    A killer, a monster;
    the one I always was?
    | Posted on 2009-04-26 00:00:00 | by bywayof | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, my living SpellCheck function has been turned on, sorry!

    satisfys- satisfies
    sent- scent
    elixer- elixir

    Ok, I'm done.

    I wrote vampire fiction for quite a long time, and it's an instinct that seems to turn on and off. However, I have only seen one other poem written about vampires, and this is my second. And damn, I enjoyed reading it. The first stanza, especially the lines about the scent of fear and takingthe souls of the pious, I truly enjoyed.

    Just a suggestion for the title: "Reborn"?

    Slainte,

    DW
    | Posted on 2009-04-12 00:00:00 | by Shadowstar13 | [ Reply to This ]


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