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    dots Submission Name: Insomniadots

    Author: hammyj
    ASL Info:    21/m/Notts UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 130/81/21
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1120
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1044


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    Asleep In the morning and awake at night,
    All alone amidst the fright
    The walls are small, this space is tight
    Waiting for the Moment of Light.

    Sat up shaking, too scared to move
    What are they doing and trying to prove?
    All these voices Iím sure are valid
    In the mirror my face is pallid.

    Why am I scared? Is it the unknown?
    As I write this the fear has grown
    The dark gets blacker and I canít breathe the air
    Choking and struggling running into despair

    The panic is over but keeping an eye
    On whatever it is that keeps passing me by
    Itís staying hushed but donít be surprised
    Itís just waiting for me to close down my eyes

    The time has passed so slowly now
    But I got through it I donít know how
    And now to sleep until the next night
    Now that I have this Moment of Light.

    Submitted on 2009-04-07 16:25:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Overall i really like the poem. I think though you need to go through and work on the the rhyme because it feels a little forced do to some weird syntax. Other than that it is really good keep on writing.
    | Posted on 2009-04-07 00:00:00 | by Selene | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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