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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Foam on my hot chocolatedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: freshcookies
    Elite Ratio:    4.15 - 63/77/45
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 571
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 383



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFoam on my hot chocolatedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The clouds linger overhead
    Fluffy, white.
    Sweet?
    Like the foam on my hot chocolate.
    Sitting atop
    This boiling, roiling
    Blushing?
    Me.
    My stomach churns,
    My chest hurts,
    Your presence
    Distance?
    Kills.
    And I know my freedom is only
    A broken heart away.
    But who wants that?




    Submitted on 2009-04-08 00:49:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Aw I really like it. I like how you bring in both the bitter and the sweet, how they come hand it hand and its hard to have one without the other. Let alone enjoy each on their own. I like how the poem is to the point, and yet it also holds some thoughts and feelings outside of the words, like how I can imagine the other persons presence, almost visualize the scene, seeing things that are beyond the text.

    Great job,
    -Randee
    | Posted on 2009-04-08 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]


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