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    dots Submission Name: I think this is what you wanted me to know...dots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2779/1297/258
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 659
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 487


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI think this is what you wanted me to know...dots

    I think this is what you wanted me to know…

    That words composed
    With a stick figure format
    In a pseudo-Freudian way

    Are as desperate to impress
    As the gothic haunts of girls
    Shrieking in the light of day

    But what I don’t understand
    Is why the images dribble
    Like spit on an infant’s skin

    Have I missed a point
    That didn’t exist
    In that case, let the games begin…

    Submitted on 2009-04-08 14:55:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i suppose
    if one chose
    not to read between the lines
    and the feeling-not-so-fines
    this would be what it looks like:

    it's a short poem that appears to have been crafted comfortably within the wider-reaching capabilities of the author.

    that's what i think.

    and i too like the line:
    'like spit on an infant's skin'
    it reminds me that we inhabit these middle years for all too short a time.
    in no time at all it is pi55 and cabbage.
    there is always something to take away from your poems it seams to me.
    | Posted on 2009-05-04 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      you could have just noted that you didn't like ma stuff,

    didn't have to get all artsy about it...

    a discrete pm ya know?


    I think this could apply to a lot of us here,

    it's rough toned but has the feel of something that is only the prelude to a storm---

    I like that restraint and the sounds of thunder here.

    The dribbling spit bit was very good,

    and this rws guy, he fits the bill quite well, owns some strong stuff.
    | Posted on 2009-04-09 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

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