Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Southern Windsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LadyInRed88
    ASL Info:    19/f/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 131/180/32
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 982
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1029



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSouthern Windsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Southern winds sing softly,
    From a place I once found inside your eyes...
    And I'm lost in a memory of its blue depths,
    And the flaming golden lights...

    You know, I came to you out of darkness-
    My heart bleeding neglect straight from my chest...
    My soul had been burnt to ashes,
    And I damned my wavering breath...

    And o' how I wished I could tell you something beautiful,
    But beauty withers inside a poisoned mind...
    You know I would have carved your name inside the moon,
    And brought you the *stars* to make you mine...

    True love is bittersweet-
    I've come to cherish the whispering rain...
    For I tasted it once as it danced down your lips-
    And your sweet body drained my pain...

    You know, I came to you out of darkness,
    With my wrists covered in blood...
    But you sang me into an oblivion-
    And the Southern winds still breathe of your love...




    Submitted on 2004-07-14 19:43:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I thought this was absolutely beautiful. It was a great love poem. Your words all fit in, like an intricate puzzle, I love your style.
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      ooo... the language and imagery in this is so yummmy... its almost like you found your salvation in this person though i cant quite work out whether it all worked out for the best in the end or not...
    the third stanza is gorgeous... i wish i could tell you something beautiful but the truth is i dont know anything beautiful no more and i was hoping you could show me what it is again... i dunno... wow... this is a very gorgeous write... it got right under my skin... good write.
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This feels like a love poem in disguise to me. The last line seems to reinforce the idea of someone coming and taking away the pain faced before. Nicely done.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-07-17 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    17312

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry