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    dots Submission Name: Goddessdots

    Author: Briannan
    ASL Info:    20/F/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.59 - 123/127/49
    Words: 1008
    Class/Type: Prose/Longing
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 5323

       A story about aspects

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I first saw her walking down the street towards school. Her long, tawny hair was braided and hung to her waist. She wore a trench coat, sunglasses, jeans, and a tank top. She had her hands in her pockets, and looked straight ahead.
    She didn't look up when my sister yelled to her. She had headphones in. She was mouthing the words. It seemed like the most natural thing. It was almost surreal to see that people still do this on the street.
    She was the most beautiful intriguing person I had ever seen. She seemed special. She didn't seem to care what anybody thought about her. She ignored traffic. The world melted around her. She was the only thing that existed. She made her own reality. It seemed right.
    I had to make her mine. She was 14 and I was 16, it would be like Romeo and Juliet. I had to make her mine forever. She is my goddess.


    The sweetest sanest girl I have ever met is asleep on my chest in the drama room at our high school. All of this started with a lie. A little lie here, a little lie there. I know it will end because I lied and she caught me. I try not to think about it. I have her for now. She is perfect.
    All she tells me is the truth, so I feel a little guilty. Itís not enough to stop it though. I know she sees through it, but she tries not to. She doesnít want to ruin her own illusions. She wants everyone to be as sweet and honest as she is. Not everyone can be perfect. Not everyone can be like a goddess.


    I found her again, my Juliet, my goddess. She loves me after all. At least I think she does. She cries when I tell her that I will die to make her happy. That means love right?
    She seems so sad all the time. I think I might have broken her. I think I canít fix it. I want her to belong to me always. I wish my little goddess would go back to not caring. She hurts all the time. I just want her to be happy and to be with me always. Always. She is my goddess.


    I met her at the lake. My friend was digging on her, but she was digging on me. So we ended up together. Too bad for him, she is wonderful. I canít believe I got her.
    She had penetrating blue eyes. I swear she could see into my soul. I didnít every want to be dishonest or hurt her. She would see it. It would be a spot on my conscience. She would know.
    She made me happy. She seemed like the only one who cared at all about me. It was wonderful to have someone care again. It was magnificent.
    She was scared a lot. But that happens when you watch someone go completely crazy. I hold her tight while she cries. I hold her tight late at night while she is hiding out at a friendís house. I hold her tight after we make love. I don't want to let her go.
    She seems so fragile. I can't let her fall and break again. She's too broken as is, my fragile goddess.


    My goddess won't talk to me anymore. The little whore has a new toy. That's all men are to her, toys. I love my goddess don't get me wrong, but she is nothing but a little slut. I hate her. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I love her. She is still my goddess.


    I met her when she was drinking off another man, and a yearlong romance and engagement. She didnít want to talk about it. She wanted another cigarette and another shot. That was it.
    She danced with the moonlight. She sang at the top of her lungs. She kissed another girl, just for the hell of it. She said that she didnít want to fall in love ever again. She just wanted someone to kiss.
    I had to have her.
    She seemed out of my league. She seemed like one of those untouchable ones. She seemed like the kind that have a rich boyfriend and likes to get presents.
    She wasnít though. She was the sweetest most amazing creature I found. She had a wild streak a mile long. She was playful, and an amazing lover. There is only one problem; she can never be my goddess.


    I tried to call her again. She changed the number. She is my goddess. She can't have anyone else. I deserve her. We are made for each other. She is my soul mate. I will get her back; someday, somehow. She will only be my goddess.


    I saw her across the way. She wasn't wearing anything but a t-shirt that hung down her thighs. She was staring out at. A note book sat on a stool next to her. She was smoking and looking at the sky.
    She seemed to be praising the stars. I made a noise and she looked over at me as if I had startled her out of her own little world. She smiled at me. I felt as if I was drawn to her.
    She was beautiful. Not perfect, but wonderful. I just wish she could see that. I wish she could be mine. But she doesnít belong to anyone. She is a creature all her own with some sort of strange imaginings. But, I love her. She is mind boggling. She is confusing, but I love her. She could very well have been my goddess.


    I never see her anymore. I want her. I need her. I am nothing without her. She is my goddess.

    Submitted on 2009-04-14 01:14:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This reminded me (because of the title) of a poem I wrote once, "Foedadea II."

    A little stalker-y, a little creepy, and it bugs me that there is no explanation of how he/she/they lied. But that is mainly because I'm a nosy busybody and have to know everyone's business, even characters'.

    Epiphany is right... very interesting.


    | Posted on 2009-08-17 00:00:00 | by Shadowstar13 | [ Reply to This ]
      in a backwards way this reminds me of my favourite ever movie/book quotes from breakfast at tiffanys. one in particular where she says

    It's the mistake you always made, Doc, trying to love a wild thing. You were always lugging home wild things. Once it was a hawk with a broken wing... and another time it was a full-grown wildcat with a broken leg....

    ....You musn't give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they're strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky.

    at the start the girl seems like such a wild thing and sometimes trying to tame something that is "different" is more detrimental for the wildthings cause than you know at the time...

    interesting progression throughout the story. sounds vaguely stalkerish in parts. i'd suggest making the lines a little longer? with them being so short and snatchy it kinda creates a breathlessness but the breathlessness isnt founded so it seems kinda... odd.

    but yeah. interesting.
    | Posted on 2009-04-14 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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