Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Beast Withindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 691
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 912



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Beast Withindots
    -------------------------------------------


    It rises, collides, fights,
    wins, and takes control.
    It draws me near,
    forces me to watch.

    Consciousness failing,
    but I can't pass out,
    I can only watch as
    the beast within plays.

    She screams as it draws near,
    runs away and falls.
    The pain is sharp as fangs
    I don't have grow long.

    He is upon her in one fell swoop,
    drawing near her neck;
    inhaling the sweet scent
    of her pure blood.

    It's so intoxicating,
    irresistible to me.
    I can't hold back,
    only bite down hard.

    Eyes rolling back,
    ecstasy fills me
    as the first squirt
    hits the back of my throat.

    Fighting with all my might,
    I pull back from him
    and watch his act...
    yet I still enjoy the taste.




    Submitted on 2009-04-14 13:07:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i dig the view you wrote this from the beast and you but it is you. its way neat.

    | Posted on 2009-04-15 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      excellent job. i just loved the way you made it sound that you and the beast within are diffferent persons, but still related. 'fangs i dont have grow long'....'yet i still enjoy the taste'..
    awesome.. you have impressed me a lot.
    and do check out my poems..
    | Posted on 2009-04-15 00:00:00 | by rsujith | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    173277

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Bond written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    The Promise written by annie0888
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Fasade written by jackz
    Break Up written by WriteSomething

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry