Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You Tell Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Texan_Poet
    ASL Info:    20/F/daydreaming
    Elite Ratio:    5.7 - 127/123/48
    Words: 353
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 556
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2080



    Description:
       This is actually my current journal. random thoughts much. anyway i decied to post it and see what reactions i got. if you see what is hidden, good for you. Hope you like it, this is just taking one idea and letting it run without concious thought.
    Ok, im adding to it now, but i dont know how much i will be able to get done, if it leaves off suddenly, the bell rang and i had to run.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Tell Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    A bleeding sky, screaming air, clouds or strangling hands? Rolling laughter, flashes of light... a crack of pain whipping through your body. Hit. Again. Turbulent currents, first one way, then the other. A violent mental rape invading and disgracing sanity; hope raising you high and then crushing you under the weight of life. Bleeding inside? Are you? Am I? You tell me.

    A silence unbroken, a hatred unspoken, hidden with masks. Games and lies, flash floods of love, droughts comprised of beatings, bruises, cuts; Words that destroy. Broken morals disguised by pious lies, actions. Do they care? Do they see what is really there? Broken; Are you? Am I? You tell me.

    Defiant? Only in silence. Give support but not help, words but not touches, comfort, sympathy, but never love. Held close by dagger-point, never show what really matters. Let them think they know, see, let them believe. But hold back that last little bit to define you. Posses without giving, take without asking; comprimise without ever giving up what you want. A surivor? Are you? Am I? You tell me.

    Mocking laughter on the breeze, a whispered word, so much more than they realize. Hidden desires, smothered to fit in with the croud, looking all the same, no variation on potent lies gleefully imbibed. Holding back who you really are, and judging them for fighting the mannequins reign; blending into the backround, trying to make others do the same. Destroyers? Are you? Am I? You tell me.

    Faking fine just as you are, smiles and sweet laughter; choking you, ashes coating your tongue and garbage clogging your mind, letting your life to stray from just being you. Listening to the sardonic laugher of the puerile and churlish voices screaming into silent minds that you cannot stand alone. Allowing the world to change your view to what they want it to be, scything your dreams as you fight for one more breath in a world of unheard sighs. Lying with every breath? Are You? Am I? You tell me.

    Understand? Do you? Do I? You tell me.




    Submitted on 2009-04-16 10:24:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Last stanza is.... amazing. "Lying with every breath? Are you? Am I?" I don't know why, but for some reason that packs a hell of a lot of a punch.

    Slainte,

    DW
    | Posted on 2009-04-18 00:00:00 | by Shadowstar13 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very vivid,interesting imagery. The words roll across the page like thunder-and as Sepheroth aptly pointed out, very deep.

    Slainte,

    DW
    | Posted on 2009-04-17 00:00:00 | by Shadowstar13 | [ Reply to This ]
      ... ... ... ... Your sumbit journal kinda hits deep... I mean damn! This entry is making me evaluate some stuff... Im glad you wrote this... Oiy I can't believe this is so short well peace out...
    | Posted on 2009-04-17 00:00:00 | by Sepheroth432 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    173355

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Every..... written by jackz
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Bond written by saartha
    The Promise written by annie0888
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Linger written by saartha
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Giving written by jjd
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Push written by JanePlane
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry