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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Used todots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Prose/Depressed
    Total Views: 581
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701



    Description:
       A wobegone vent of older Elite Skills days


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUsed todots
    -------------------------------------------


    THis used to be a great place
    People with integrity and honesty
    and talent for writing
    Friends that stalked you
    And commented on everything you submitted
    Not afraid to offer kind critisim when due

    Today most all who frequent
    are the young and immature writer
    Or those with clichéd riddeled thoughts
    Angst filled youngsters unaware
    of the beauty of God's plan
    And too naive to seek it

    Gone are the days of true friends
    and those willing to assist,
    Those with constructive thoughts
    and words of praise
    Replaced by cowards hiding
    behind the annominity of the web




    Submitted on 2009-04-16 13:38:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmmm, so I am new and will never know what once was and can't identify too much. I do see a lot of the "This used to be a great place" messages. So here would be my "kind criticism". Look for the plus in this site. Young people are interested in writing. There are several writers that still put out quality pieces. Several that consistently comment. I've ran into a few that give a good english lesson in their comments. We can always find fault in things but I'm optimistic about finding those pearls of wisdom in today's site.

    What I like about this piece is its honesty.

    Nothing was unclear.

    It reminded me of all the other pieces that wished it was what it was.

    The website coward and annominity comment was quite strongly felt by me so good job on relaying that emotion through words.

    As far as seeking God's plan I love him already. He prolly doesn't like it when you're unhappy.

    :/
    | Posted on 2009-04-18 00:00:00 | by Kuuipo | [ Reply to This ]
      oooh harsh that last two lines. Me? Im just too lazy to type most of the time. had flavours of a slight rant this obviously. Let the immature writers keep writing they may find their way to God in maturity.

    Kate
    | Posted on 2009-04-17 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    173363

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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