Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lamia for Obsidian c. by RUEJACOBS 12-02-03dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ruejacobs
    ASL Info:    39/feminazi/Gehenna
    Elite Ratio:    4.82 - 619/473/167
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 714
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 878



    Description:
       hidden document on his external hard drive.

    i thought i'd lost this one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLamia for Obsidian c. by RUEJACOBS 12-02-03dots
    -------------------------------------------




    still your tongue against that vow.
    promise me neither body nor heart,
    transient as they are.
    i know cheap words when i hear them.
    that body is distant,
    destined to be a larval shell.
    spent bullets are more real to me.
    the heart, silent as bone.
    no, not those tired oaths.
    i want your intangibility.
    the breath that formed the promise,
    a fragment of god,
    that sacrament, yes.
    all flesh disappoints inevitably.
    emotion devours itself
    and fades like a match blown out.
    no, if any deal be struck at all,
    this purchase requires the breath of life itself and makes for immortality.
    i want the soul and nothing else
    offer no eternity.




    Submitted on 2009-04-17 00:11:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      your words are what i kept telling case.they make so much music without making a sound.case deosnt get who words in-power us and make us stronger.words give our family its edge...and maybe case isnt right for me.he deosnt seem like i matter to him and im getting so depressed waiting for him to care.
    | Posted on 2009-05-17 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]
      slightly more to the left than it is right

    you are

    almost down for its upness

    tis only lochy down by the dell

    fiording, doing rather well I might add

    but this is about intangibles and is almost ugly
    because of the beauty that must have been,

    cupped in both hands at one time and place.

    I hope that's Nonsensical but not so much that it robs you of a compliment.

    Nice the way you string the words together.
    | Posted on 2009-04-17 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    173383

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry