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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I love my enemydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Diablo Tapitio
    ASL Info:    30
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 85/111/62
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 703
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 838



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI love my enemydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I love to be right by your side,
    In your shadow is where I hide,
    worshiping your every thought,
    inside your web I am caught.
    I trust in you to rip me me apart,
    With your icecycle eyes, your words like darts.

    I am to damn weak to take a stand,
    and to afraid to hold your hand.
    I try my best, and I aim to please,
    I breath in your black disease.
    To much of a slave to ever be free,
    I get chills when you look at me.

    I feel like a junkie when I am around you,
    I need you daily, yet hate what you do.
    I feel a fire burning in the pit of my gut,
    as I try deperately to dig uot of this rut,
    I really dont know what I should do,
    I feel sick when your near me, yet I am lost without you.






    Submitted on 2009-04-18 19:28:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The general impression this gave me is being a “friend” when you really desire more. Although there is a rather dark vibe to it… The rhyme scheme was good it didn’t sound like you were forcing it. The last line looks like it ended up too long though- maybe you could end it in an alternate rhyme scheme. Oh! And there is a misspell in the 3rd line from the bottom. Uot.

    | Posted on 2009-04-20 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]


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