Mental illness inside one's mind
Cannot be control with thought
Man's poor personality unbalance
Memories of instability
Guiltless behavior in society living
Originate state of mind conflicts
Emotional stress throughout self being
Another mistreatment into sundry insurgent
Self- propelling projectile to beauty's misery
| It all says the same thing. The concept is boringly consist. I couldn't see or feel anything. They just felt like random lines you threw together in hopes to make them seem like something more. I did not see a psychopath. I did not feel his guiltlessness or emotional stress. It needs work. I want to FEEL insane or CREEPED OUT by psychotic imagery. Give the reader MORE. I LOVE reading about crazy, insane [censored]. |
|| Posted on 2009-08-26 00:00:00 | by mojymo | [ Reply to This ] || Very nice Write!|
Love the Flow!
It was easy to read.
Which is good being that most of the poems on here are full of error!
I love the poem! Good Work!
|| Posted on 2009-04-21 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ] |