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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Most Beautiful Uglydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 757
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 991



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMost Beautiful Uglydots
    -------------------------------------------


    She tilted her head
    like an inquisitive dog
    innocent-like.
    Innocent she was not.
    Her eyes told me that.
    She had lived every life
    been whore, lover, wife
    seductress
    murderess
    and more
    and yet
    still her love pervaded (invaded?)
    my every cell
    clung to me like tobacco smell.

    The more I stared
    the more I knew
    I was looking at my Self
    in all its glory and gore
    my mouth dropped in awe.
    here was the beautifulest ugly
    I ever saw.
    Non threatening and yet raw.

    And roar she did.
    her ancient song of aum,
    sang me back into my breath,
    into the moment.
    I curled into the in and out of it
    and rested in my heart (her heart?)
    an embryo with new eyes forming.

    I swam in her dark watery womb
    of creativity and omagination
    awaiting rebirth again.





    Submitted on 2009-04-22 14:16:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      it's great when we can look in the mirror and accept all there is about ourselves and who we are...

    we are a combination of experiences and years...and they're all good...because altogether, they make up "US"

    beautifulest...great word

    and i like the last part..the rebirth..okay here comes yet another personality..another me...

    and there will be more to come...

    i'm pretty good with less punctuation...i like the words to tumble, like falling off a shelf...

    "sang me back to my breath"

    exquisite line..one of those.."i wish i had said that" kind of lines...
    and the rhyme is so natural..i am not a lover of rhyme..but when it doesn't seem in the least bit, forced...
    it works...

    i tilted my mind toward this poem..and liked it.
    | Posted on 2011-02-25 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I have taken the liberty of pushing your poem around, in the way that you can push those 15 tiles around to make something clear.



    I like the subject matter and I like the language but for me, because I am something of a dinosaur, I also like a bit of punctuation action.

    And spacing.

    And all that tired crap but there you have it: an inlooker's viewpoint/standpoint/needlepoint...


    She tilted her head like an inquisitive dog:
    innocent-like although
    Innocent she was not.
    (Her eyes told me that).

    She had lived every life from whore,
    from lover,
    to wife.
    from seductress;
    murderess
    and more
    and yet,
    still her love pervaded (invaded?)
    my every cell:
    it clung to me like a tobacco smell.

    The more I stared,
    the more I knew:
    I was looking at my Self
    in all its glory
    and in all its gore
    and my mouth dropped open in some kind of awe.
    for here was the beautifulest ugly
    that I ever did saw.
    Non-threatening and yet some kind of raw
    nd roar she did.

    Her ancient song of aum
    sang me back into my breath;
    into the moment.
    I curled into the in-and-out-of-it
    and rested in my heart (her heart?)
    an embryo with new eyes forming.

    And I swim in her dark, watery womb
    of creativity
    and imagination,
    awaiting rebirth.
    | Posted on 2009-05-19 00:00:00 | by Mark Hall | [ Reply to This ]
      ok, i won't get into my Self again here (i'm reading this after "an apology") or at least i'll try not to even though this appears to be my Self in the mirror.
    i'm just teasin' you, ya know? your capitilazation of the word self just makes me aware of my own beliefs when it comes to the potential of mankind i think. capable of so much beauty and... so much ugly. is it really that we should walk a prayer maze and crawl into ourselves to find the answers? or should we go out? for me, i find it hard to believe that traveling inward will uncover anything much more than what we already see. i mean, it's already outside of us, in plain sight. wreckage everywhere. so this is why on "an apology" i was able to find the why to my own question; why scared? it is scary to me that my Self or that we would somehow be the capital, the fulfillment of the potential. anyway, yea. i'm probably way over the edge and thinkin' much too out loud but at least i'm having a good time. thanks.
    i like this. i like your pluralizations too, "beautifulest".
    | Posted on 2009-05-09 00:00:00 | by milovelocity | [ Reply to This ]


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