Most Beautiful Ugly by elephantasia

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Submission Name: Most Beautiful Ugly dots

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Author:	elephantasia
ASL Info:	34/F/UK
Elite Ratio:	3.62 - 392/460/139
Words:	147

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	71
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	991

Description:

Most Beautiful Ugly dots

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She tilted her head
like an inquisitive dog
innocent-like.
Innocent she was not.
Her eyes told me that.
She had lived every life
been whore, lover, wife
seductress
murderess
and more
and yet
still her love pervaded (invaded?)
my every cell
clung to me like tobacco smell.

The more I stared
the more I knew
I was looking at my Self
in all its glory and gore
my mouth dropped in awe.
here was the beautifulest ugly
I ever saw.
Non threatening and yet raw.

And roar she did.
her ancient song of aum,
sang me back into my breath,
into the moment.
I curled into the in and out of it
and rested in my heart (her heart?)
an embryo with new eyes forming.

I swam in her dark watery womb
of creativity and omagination
awaiting rebirth again.

Submitted on 2009-04-22 14:16:37 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
Well I have taken the liberty of pushing your poem around, in the way that you can push those 15 tiles around to make something clear.

I like the subject matter and I like the language but for me, because I am something of a dinosaur, I also like a bit of punctuation action.

And spacing.

And all that tired crap but there you have it: an inlooker's viewpoint/standpoint/needlepoint...

She tilted her head like an inquisitive dog:
innocent-like although
Innocent she was not.
(Her eyes told me that).

She had lived every life from whore,
from lover,
to wife.
from seductress;
murderess
and more
and yet,
still her love pervaded (invaded?)
my every cell:
it clung to me like a tobacco smell.

The more I stared,
the more I knew:
I was looking at my Self
in all its glory
and in all its gore
and my mouth dropped open in some kind of awe.
for here was the beautifulest ugly
that I ever did saw.
Non-threatening and yet some kind of raw
nd roar she did.

Her ancient song of aum
sang me back into my breath;
into the moment.
I curled into the in-and-out-of-it
and rested in my heart (her heart?)
an embryo with new eyes forming.

And I swim in her dark, watery womb
of creativity
and imagination,
awaiting rebirth.

| Posted on 2009-05-19 00:00:00 | by Mark Hall | [ Reply to This ]
ok, i won't get into my Self again here (i'm reading this after "an apology") or at least i'll try not to even though this appears to be my Self in the mirror.
i'm just teasin' you, ya know? your capitilazation of the word self just makes me aware of my own beliefs when it comes to the potential of mankind i think. capable of so much beauty and... so much ugly. is it really that we should walk a prayer maze and crawl into ourselves to find the answers? or should we go out? for me, i find it hard to believe that traveling inward will uncover anything much more than what we already see. i mean, it's already outside of us, in plain sight. wreckage everywhere. so this is why on "an apology" i was able to find the why to my own question; why scared? it is scary to me that my Self or that we would somehow be the capital, the fulfillment of the potential. anyway, yea. i'm probably way over the edge and thinkin' much too out loud but at least i'm having a good time. thanks.
i like this. i like your pluralizations too, "beautifulest".
| Posted on 2009-05-09 00:00:00 | by milovelocity | [ Reply to This ]

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