Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waiting for dawndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 692
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 776



    Description:
       This is about the most intriguing, captivating, frightening, and beautiful woman I have ever met in my life. Though in the end of my attempted pursuit, I would change nothing. This is also a glimspe of the hopeless romantic in me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaiting for dawndots
    -------------------------------------------


    I know you’ve
    Been looking through
    Your stained glass eyes

    You see the world
    In such a different light
    So many images I
    Could never comprehend

    What is it you see
    When you turn your
    Gaze in my direction

    Can you make out
    The features of my face
    Or am I simply
    A shadow in the background

    Someone stuck
    In twilight between night and day
    Simply waiting for sunrise

    Would you let me look
    Through those stained
    Glass eyes

    Would you let me
    Learn of those
    Things within

    Because I have
    Been waiting for you
    Always waiting
    for sunrise




    Submitted on 2004-07-15 10:32:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      one of the saddest things in the world is that sometimes you like someone and that person just doesn't feel the same about you... i think this captures it all...

    my favourite lines (which i thought were awesome)
    "Can you make out
    The features of my face
    Or am I simply
    A shadow in the background

    Someone stuck
    In twilight between night and day
    Simply waiting for sunrise"
    | Posted on 2004-07-20 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the comparasion of stained glass eyes to her seeing the world diffrent than most people ...hmmm...i really have no complaints i like it just like it is...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-07-15 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      i dont know why but after i read your description i thought that 'dawn' was a metaphor for the woman you were writing about... and what more intriguing or majestic image to represent a woman but the sun rising into the sky.. especially one who is out of your reach..

    and your use of imagery is lovely.. 'stained glass eyes' and 'Someone stuck / In twilight between night and day"

    my only suggestion for flow would be not to capitalise the first letter of each sentence.. although i know some people tend to do this on purpose.. but since you've chosen not to use any punctuation.. i'm assuming it wasnt intentional..?

    anyway.. beautiful poem
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    17361

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Etiquette written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry