In the sand I played.
Building Castles,
in which my heart lived.
Polish chipping away into the sand,
biting my lip in firm concentration.
I wanted to pluck my beating
(and bleeding) heart,
And place it in my walls of sand.
How was I to forsee?
How could I see where my trails led?
The broken home,
I still don't neglect.
My childhood torment,
I visit to this day.
Masochist to the core,
Poking the bruises.
to feel that rush,
Like bruising yourself all over again.
And Again.
Strong because that's what's expected.
Mommy raised me better than this.
Such a soft spot for sentiment.
How can I remember so much?
So much I wanted to forget.
Saliva, Snot, and Tears.
Pressed tight against the window.
Staring out for so many years.
What can I believe in?
What remains at the end?
Do I fall, a corpse, decaying in the ground?
Or Raise. An angel, finding what I deserve?
What I deserve.
A liar, a thief, murder in my heart.
I've broken every comandment.
So what do I deserve?
What's left to lose?
How much do I gamble,
Before I gamble my life away?
I always played it safe.
Don't bet on anything that's not a hundred percent.
I've seen what loss can do to you.
Can you imagine,
for just a second,
lend me your mind.
Can you imagine,
My Whimsical Mother.
Remembering, the comforting touch.
Brushing my hair from my face,
Until I was asleep.
When I'd awake,
she was gone.
A phantom. A voice on the phone again.
And I barely breathing,
looking to the sunny skies.
Sand caked. On my knees.
In my hair. Under my nails.
Building a castle...
A sorry castle, pathetic.
Face flushed with frusteration,
Sand stomped under sandles.
Remains of a ruined castle in my wake,
I'd climb on my bike, and
Leave.
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Submission Name: Crushed Castles
